Celebrity Status

I don't know about you, but I have dreamt a lot about being a celebrity someday...that everyone would adore me and respect me and show me the kind of adulation that suits my narcissistic ego. That may be the reason why sociologists call man a prisoner of society. I, like most other socialized animals, want to get social approval.

That had once come my way when I had cleared IIT JEE...my rank wasn't gud enough, but the best among Bhubaneswar first attempt chaps... parents raved about me, friends didn't stop pulling my legs, acquaintances and strangers (alike) kept adoring me in my colony. And yes, there was the talk of girls... what every celebrity desires -to have lots and lots of female fans. Unfortunately, this one never materialized. I left Bhubaneswar too soon... and so couldn't really check out how much of the female fan stuff was fact and how much a fiction.

Well, luck has smiled at me once again. This time, I managed to get 196 rank in the coveted civil services. Now, that's not a big achievement, given the fact that it will fetch me Indian revenue Service (Income Tax) ... I may have to give the exam again for IAS. Yet, the kind of celebrity status I have got is amazing.

My name has already come up in front page of some Oriya newspapers. Immediate kin, farther kin, fictitious kin and family friends -far and near - have already congratulated my parents...everyone wants to boast of acquaintance with an Income Tax Commissioner. Many coaching institutes, my association with which was minimal, have already come out with newspaper ads featuring my name and photo.

The nature of exam being long drawn and quite unpredictable, aspirants are very insecure. They feel that the successful candidates have some formula that they can share. What they don't understand is that being a DM is about managing novel and non-formulaic issues daily... hence UPSC checks reaction to unpredictability and flexibility! No doubt, this insecurity has made many aspirants buzz me with questions like:

• What was your strategy? As if I had any other than hard work!
• Please tell me what you did A to Z... as if there is any formula to get through!
• What optionals should I take? Dude, you think I know better than you?

Now-a-days I have even started showing some starry tantrums... 'I am not free', 'Am busy', 'I don't think I can help you...this was my first attempt and I didn't really prepare that seriously' (which is a gross overstatement... no one can clear this exam just by chance)

One thing I miss about the celebrity status (in Rajinder Ngr and Mukherjee Ngr in Delhi and in Orissa) is the complete lack of female fan base. (Please note that the ladies preparing for UPSC don't count). May be its because ladies can make out from my face that I am a despomaniac with four years of frust life in IIT Kharagpur (the insti is famous for harbouring despomaniacs... a girl who had been hit by many KGPians has even started a community 'Desperate IITians' in Orkut!) and another year here in Delhi, preparing for UPSC.

Anyways, let me make a confession. I am not exactly enjoying this celebrity status. I have to keep my cell phone switched off, face many irritating -and similar -questions and sometimes even act rude with aspirants (with whom I recognize the myself that had come to the jungle called Old Rajinder Nagar Market aka UPSC Market last year around this time).

One ground truth: I still am as far from IAS cadre as I was last year when I came to Delhi. It was this very day in 2007 that I set foot in Delhi! I need to work hard, and harder than I did last year, to really get through.