People here think my creation and upbringing is but one of the hidden conspiracy of the denizens of the dark under the overall supervision of Satan to take over this planet from the Angels of humour land. True, I am the source of many a despicable and rotten PJs that have struck the population of this planet but what people don’t understand is that PJing is an art and I am an artist.
Most of my classmates don’t usually entertain me with a position in their friends’ circle or give me a chance to speak out for myself. There was a time when people weren’t much aware of my PJing ability and so used to patiently tolerate my jokes. But not long after I was cast away from all chitchats in campus.
I have wanted to express myself since a long time but never got an opportunity to. True, we have a PJ thread in the Mutter Forum, the official online forum of our institute but none but PJayers dare to enter the thread. On top of that people have a general notion that PJs are more harmful to the nervous system than pot. It was then that the inquisitive author of this collection came by and asked me to speak out. However, he has asked me to keep it short and impersonal so that no permanent damage is caused to the reader’s nerves. He wants me to state, in a very non-fiction format, the definition, origins and types of PJ.
Though there is no official definition to the acronym, PJ as you all know, is short for Poor Jokes. PJ-Bashers often malign the meaning by calling it Pathetic Jokes. Yet others call it by varied other names like Perverted Joke, Porny Joke and Plain Joke. Being a PJ specialist, I know that Pathetic J, Perverted J, Porny J and Plain J are but different sub-varieties of PJs, Pathetic Jokes being the largest grouping of all.
There is no clear dividing line that marks out a pathetic joke from any other PJ. For example: Which is the largest integration? National Integration. This is a typical example of a PJ but I bet most of you readers believe it is a pathetic joke. But then if it is pathetic, then tell me what type of a joke is this:
Why do we see a lightning before we hear it?
Because our eyes are ahead of our ears.
PJing is an art and the first rule of enjoying a PJ is by not trying to find logic behind it. Yet there is a class of PJs that have huge intellectual matter attached to them. For example, try to find out what a person is trying to tell you when he welcomes you saying:
“ABBBAAABABABAABABBBAAABBAABAABBABABABBABABABABAABBBBAAABABABAAABBBAABBBAAABABAABABABABAABBBBBAAABABABAAABBBAABBBAAABABABAABABBBAAABBAABAABBABABABBABABABABAABBBBBAAABABABAAABBBAABBBABBBAAABABABAABABBB”
You need a special intellectual bent of mind and a keen observance of English, the language, to get the welcome message. It says ‘Long time no see’. Don’t get it still? Well, this is no coded message. The message is self evident: ‘Long time no C’. For such PJs you just need to make use of your common sense.
Second rule of PJ is regarding original PJs. There are very few original PJs and the creators of these are the real PJ Masters. The rule states that best PJs are conceived in a state of frustration. The classic cricket PJ:
“Why is Sourav Ganguly a coward?
Because he is afraid of Duck”
was conceived by a pal who was extremely depressed after a bad innings by
Acknowledge the source when you are copying another’s PJs. This sure is a tough task for most PJs don’t have any patented source, nor is there any intellectual property law that holds for PJs. If you can’t get at the source, at least don’t pretend it is your own. Seems like these rules are becoming too bizarre for you readers to digest. So just a small joke to chill you out: ‘If there was a patent system for PJs, what would it be called?’
PaeJent!!!!
Third rule of PJing. We have our own ethics. Don’t shoot PJ when a guy is busy studying. On such occasions we shell out RJ1s.
Fifth rule of PJing is to know one’s own limits. You should never challenge a PJ King or even a PJ Barons if you are new to the field. A guy called Govind once asked me what the opposite of his name was. It was simple for me but the counter-attack that I unleashed after that was too fatal for him. And just for the note, opposite of Govind is Comevind.
You must be wondering where the fourth rule of PJing is. It is self evident from the third rule. Shoot PJs when a guy isn’t busy studying. I rock, don’t I??
The writer reminds me to speak something about the origins of PJ. Not being an etymologist, I can’t of course speak much on the matter. You should better consult some specialist like Norman Lewis. I can of course throw some light on the advent of PJing culture in
The orkut.com community on PJs has been embraced by four thousand odd chaps. Most of the classic PJs have been lost over time and need the dedicated efforts of the people from National Geographic to restore them. One classic PJ still remains among us:
What do you call the species that stays inside the ground and eats stone?
Now this one is predictable…if you don’t get it, you are too low on PQ2.
UNDERGROUND STONE EATER
Now, that wasn’t the classic PJ. It was way too predictable. The classic one goes as:
If a tunnel is dug through earth and if a stone is thrown in it........what happens???
Such disturbing questions had been asked by physics professors in schooldays and you always stood confused and puzzled in front of him. Anyways the correct answer is:
The underground stone eater will eat it...
I believe PJs gained real popularity in
Liberalization was followed by a steep rise in yahoo chatters and gtalk talkers. The frustrated call centre employees and software coolies added to the loyal student base of the PJ community. However, PJs gained immense popularity in the form of Sardarji jokes. It is believed that a Sardar was once very agitated by this usage and told his wife:
“Tell me one good joke in which I am not involved"
The wife said: "I am Pregnant"
I must make it clear at this stage that I have no grudge against any Sardar. In fact I respect all the Sardars who guard Indian borders so that I can sleep safe and sound. By the way, what do you call a Sardar who runs towards the enemy camp with a flag in hand?
Surrender Singh!!
The ‘Bangali’ PJ trend has just started in IIT Kharagpur and hasn’t yet gained popularity in other parts. What frustrates a Bangali (which is a local pronunciation of Bengali) when his wife delivers twins? He wonders who the father of the second child is.
Anyway, did I tell you how I came to be known as PJ King? There are many PJ masters in IIT Kharagpur but no one was as such acknowledged as the master of PJ masters. One day a proposal for evaluation of all PJ Gods in campus was floated in Mutter Forum. Many claimed to be the PJ King but finally it all boiled down to me and Sugato, a Bangali.
The competition happened in the common chat room of all LAN users in campus. Sugato had an impressive collection of PJs to boast about. He was obviously getting an edge over me. It was then that I tried out a strategy that worked.
You must have heard about the story in which two artists compete as to who is the best. The first draws a flower that deceives a butterfly. The second asks the first to open the flap of his painting. When the first tries to open it, he realizes that it was in fact the painting. The second artist won because the first had deceived a butterfly and the second had deceived the first.
I used a similar strategy. I asked Sugato on the chat room “Do you have holes in your pant?”
He wrote “No”
“How do you put your legs through then?”
That brought me back to the fray. I wrote many Bangali PJs on fish (Bengali men love fish more than their wife), on communists and Tagore, on Subash Bose and Rani Mukherjee and won back my fan support. Then came the turning point that clearly marked my superiority:
Sugato> Why does the crane stand with one leg lifted in water?
Me>Coz if it lifts the other leg it will fall……Huhaaaaahaahaha
Now, what is a crane’s favorite food?
Sugato>Fish!
Me>Crane isn’t a Bangali idiot. The answer is Crane-Berries
That wasn’t an original PJ but I made the right usage of it at the right time. At the end I was announced the winner and unanimously accepted as the PJ King. I had then given a taciturn comment:
“If Sugato were the PJ King, God save the Queen”
The writer believes I am going too far. So let me make a concluding remark. PJs have their own advantages. PJs are usually conceived and propagated by frustrated souls. Propagation of PJs doesn’t remove the frustration; it does help in increasing frustrated people in your surrounding so as to make you less frustrated relative to others. Secondly, girls simply love PJs. They laugh at the silliest PJs.
There is this girl who just loves my PJs. “Who was the first Indian woman to fly abroad?” She worked her brains out for the answer but couldn’t get one. She was greatly impressed when I told her it was ‘Sita on a Pushpak plane with Ravana to
But be cautious for your PJs may backfire. I asked her my favourite hole-in-the-pant joke. Being poor in English, I asked her ‘Do you have a hole inside your jeans’ instead of ‘is there a hole in your jeans’. She took it for a Perverted Joke, slapped me real hard and went away. All the PJs I had spent on her till date were wasted by one moment of wrong sentence formation. By the way, can you tell me what people call me since that incident?
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Think Hard!!!!
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Come on you can make it!!!!
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Ok here goes the answer
Pankaj Jha
(I had never disclosed the incident to anyone before this. Hence they call me by the same name since the incident as they used to call me before the incident….Pankaj Jha Originals)
- RJ is two steps ahead of PJ as in (A, B, ….P, Q, R, ….Y, Z)J
- PQ is PJ Quotient
2 comments:
could not read the entire thread .. was getting too PJish :p
Lol, good read. :) dnt knw the funda abt Pankaj Jha though! :P
Cheers
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