Ari And The Bitch

You can not estimate the real extent of damage continued exposure to Ari can have on one’s nervous systems if you haven’t been with him for a while. Irony is that, by the time you experience the effects of his company on your nervous system, you are mad beyond redemption so much so that you can’t communicate the effects to any sane individual.
No, Ari isn’t one of those supernatural brain sucking mammals that you find mostly in the realms of fantasy. He is a human, of blood and flesh, much like us; albeit much more sophisticated (some contend much less sophisticated) than us. He has become so unpopular that girls dread to go anywhere near him with the fear of losing their virginity and mothers fear that his shadow can have adverse effect on their kids.
This story, however, pertains to a time when he wasn’t that unpopular. He was as dangerous then as he is now, but like-a-human that he looked, none knew the ass that he is. His previous history is hazy –some say he hails from a mental hospital, some say from some Bengali college and still others insist it means the same thing –but it can definitely be said that he had always been like this. Arindam Choudhary had joined Lala Steel (company name changed to avoid any unpopularity for its HR team) as a graduate trainee (GT) and resided in the trainees’ hostel with twenty four other graduate trainees.
At first look, some of his fellow trainees took his hypocritical approach as a sign of sophistication and a mature personality. This view changed into amusement in just a couple of days. The amusement had changed into headache in just about a week’s time. Ari was nearly a social outcast. Nearly but not absolutely for there was this one chap –Hagendra Verma –popularly called Hagga (hindi for Shit) who had forged a close friendship with him. Many theorists believe that this was possible because Arindam couldn’t suck his brain out; Hagga, it seems, suffered from a severe lack of neurotic cells.
Incidentally, a group of trainees from another company were also housed in the same hostel. The group had a couple of hot chicks and the starved eyes of Lala Steel GTs relished on these. Ari, sophisticated that he thought he was, went a step forward. He started befriending one of the girls, Miss. Y. This girl, Y, was smart, quite pretty and extrovert; one of those new age girls who believe in living the moment. It can’t be denied that Ari’s association with this girl had infuriated a few others and they started calling this lady ‘The Bitch’. It is not tough to find losers in this country who slang every girl who doesn’t confirm to the stereotype ‘Indian girl’ attitude.
Ari had, for the first time in his life, found bliss. He took her for coffee, for dinner and to booze parties. Though some people marked insecurity in his behavior whenever he went out with her, nevertheless he was deeply in love. He had become so possessive about her that he couldn’t tolerate when anyone called her a ‘hot chick’ on his face. Once, Choby-E-Bose and Bhobho Sharma had called her ‘The Bitch’ (the standard nomenclature) in his presence. It infuriated him so much that he requested them to show her some respect. He would have, it is believed, confronted them had his Bengali brothers –GopalDa and PranoyDa –been on his side.
Public, and perhaps Ari, had by now assumed that she was Ari’s girlfriend. Alas! She wasn’t. If one closely marked, she was as friendly to Hagga and Rajat –Ari’s only companions –as she was to Ari. Besides, she insisted on paying her own bills for coffee, dinner and booze.
With passage of time, she was found with Hagga and Rajat more often than Ari. No doubt, she was experiencing the same effects of Ari as the other GTs had. As Rajat had declared her a foster sister, a new theory started flouting in chat circles – that she was giving up Ari for Hagga. Many wondered what was so special in that Hagga, descendant of the ancient ogres of Jhansi and neighboring hills. Mind you, Ari is no novice. He had made his calculations. Rajat was Y’s foster brother and he was sure she won’t give him up for Hagga. Unfortunately, like many other politicians who think they are smart but they aren’t, he had miscalculated. He had no idea that its not the looks but the attitude girls are after. As I have no experience or insight into a lady’s likings and tastes and as I don’t personally think Hagga has any attitude, I would just put forth that she found Hagga more amiable than Ari. The theory that was making the rounds in gossip circles about Hagga and The Bitch and the tragic exclusion of Ari got authenticated when The Bitch (not the writer’s words) gifted Hagga a silver ring.
Next we know, Ari ran off to Kolkata for the weekend. After he came back, he stopped talking to anyone, avoided hanging out with Hagga and instead of going to the mess, ordered food to his room. With passage of time, however, his wounds started healing. He courageously faced the mocking GTs, The Bitch who acted as if nothing had happened and Hagga, the Brutus of his tragic story.
One evening, Hagga, Rajat and The Bitch were planning to go out for booze. For old times’ sake, The Bitch asked Hagga to call Ari. When Hagga came calling, Ari was in a fix. He wanted to act as if he had no sore feelings and at the same time didn’t want to go through the emotional trauma. He decided to courageously face the truth and consented to go for the booze party
There was no stopping Ari at the booze party. Unable to see Hagga and his Y together, he immersed himself in vodka. Though vodka provided his heart the healing touch, it let his mouth loose. He started mumbling all type of non-sense. At one point, he hysterically shouted “THE BITCH”
Whole assemblage in the bar was looking at him. Even under the influence of vodka, saw the hazy image of his Y and Hagga glaring at him.
“Life…Life” he tried to explain “Life is a bitch”
My kids wonder if Ari (I keep then away from him) was always so formidable and invincible as he is now. One day, when they understand the caprices of Cupid and the strange ways in which love can win over the darkest of Satan’s mercenaries, I shall narrate them this story.