The title does sound somewhat ambiguous, given the fact that most of the weekdays this semester, I sleep in the day. Well, the nightmare refers to 'Control Design' class and the trials and tribulations I have faced in the class till date.
I don't remember the exact date on which this story started, for its not the 1st or the only time that I faced the wrath of profs. It was a wednesday, three weeks back. It was 3 AM in the night, while I was watching a Korean movie -yeah these movies are swarming Kgp LAN these days- that Prashant Babu Kodali, a classmate, made me realise that the first assignment had to be submitted on that very day and it was supposedly very tough. Cutting down the late-night sleep to a couple of hours, I started my search for an assignment at six in the morning.
I and Babu Rao practically searched through half of the class of 50 for an assignment, but found none. Some had not just completed while others weren't that willing to give the assignment. Finally, my search came to a temporary endin RK when Anjai Lal and Mahesh offered their designs. None of the xerox centres were open at eight in the morning; so we rushed over to puri gate and got print outs.
Halt! There is a problem here also. Mahesh's work wasn't complete and we couldn't make head or tail of it. True, our work was just to copy, but how to if u can't make out whats written in there? And Anjai Lal! I know him since 1st year. Still I wasted fifteen bucks making photo-copies of his assignment.
It was eleven in the morning when Sailendra came up with the news that many from the intelligentsia group had just completed their reports. Immediately, we rushed over to Vikas's room and jotted down whatever we could. The report was so big and the number of back-benchers relying on a single report was so high that we just completed the report on time.
I reached the class (its a 3hr long class at 1:30 PM every wednesday) ten minutes late, practically fumbling on the PT Sheets. I was so preoccupied with the report that I had forgotten to get a notebook. Somehow I made out which sheet comes after which and tied them in a PT file. MISSION COMPLETE.
ACT-1 SCENE-2 : An hour later
A new assignment has been given and the front-benchers are scratching their heads on it. We -I, Babu Rao and Sailendra -are busy with another of our useless 'bhaats'. Suddenly, Prof. SKD comes over to the last benches to see what the last benchers were doing...and finds me and Babu without a notebook. Sailendra, the smart one, had made a circuit diagram that I bet he didn't understand and saved his ass.
Now, SKD is known for his singular ways of insulting students at the slightest. Its better not to remember that again. True, it wasn't the first time I was caught and the question -"Why ONLY me, God! Why me again?" -propped up in my head; though habituated to being the centre of humiliations, I don't enjoy it. What was more torturesome was to be sent to the first bench for rest of the two hours.
The two hours in the first bench seemed like two full days. I just couldn't make out anything of the problem and profs (three in number: SKD, AP and BMM) kept peeping into my papers (I didn't have a notebook!). At long last, Babu Rao -who was giving me company in the humiliation- was caught. He was supposedly pondering on a point in the problem that was silly and was caught by AP. AP took out his assignment report and started the "gang-rape": three profs to one decrepit guy. Evidently, he didn't know why such and such resistance value was such.
'Where did u get the hall's effect design'
'Sir, in a book'
'Which book?'
'I...I don't remember the name. A friend's book'
'Which Friend?'
'I don't remember sir'
'What?'
'I mean...uh.. he is in energy engineering; not here'
'Where did u get this resistance value' :BMM pointing at some page in the report
'From the net, sir'
'And this'
'From the net'
'And that'
'From the net'
At long last, the three profs came to the unanimous conclusion that his degree should be awarded to the net. After deriving all possible pleasures from Babu's gangrape, SKD's eyes turned to me.
Fuck!
I had tried my best to lie low; but you are noticed in the 1st bench even if you hide yourself in your shirt. 'Its already 4:15. Shall we?' asked BMM. Kudos to BMM; seems he was pretty tired after Babu's rape.
'Okie. We will check him out next week. Anyhow, we will be discussing this design next week. He will be the first to come to the black-board' said SKD.
* * * * * *
If given a chance, I won't hesitate to kick Anjai Lal's ass. Now, there are some people in this world who are good at cooking up things. Anjai Lal and Ashutosh Vijayant have that special art of calling a humming bird an Albatross. Ashu does cook up things but only for his self entertainment. Unlike him, that A.Lal cooks up stuff and distributes them all over. It seems he conveyed the 'anectode' about me over G-Talk to many in campus.
Inspite of my best efforts, the news reached my wingies, and in an even more horrible form. Babu Rao is my wingie, but no news about him being involved in the carnage -though he was the one who suffered most from, metaphorically speaking, the anal sex. My legs are still being pulled on this matter by my wingies.
ACT-2 SCENE-1: Six days later; Tuesday 5:30 PM B.C.Roy Tech. Hospital
'But I don't find anything wrong in you'
'Doctor, I got high temperature at around 2 in the afternoon. Its okay now, but I am feeling very tired'
'What did you do when you got fever?'
'I took sinarest'. Thanks mom, for the name.She boasts a lot about the couple of medicine names she know about and recommends them for any type of fever. The doctor didn't seem to be convinced.
'Ok. I am prescribing some medicine' he said and started scribling something in an illegible handwriting I have always wondered how the medicine shopkeepers understand.
'Doctor...'
'Yes'
'Will I be able to make it to class tomorrow?'
'Sure'
'What if I couldn't?'
'Excuse me'
'I mean, I am still feeling weak and tired. Can you give me a day's rest?'
'If you get fever even tomorrow, come to me. I will give you a week's rest', he answered sarcastically
I came out of the hospital completely frustrated, cursing the hospital for not taking good care of the student community. So no medical leave possible. After a couple of hours of brainstorming, I came to the conclusion that, to avoid a fate similar to Babu's, I had to bunk the class with any stupid excuse. I even got the impulse of making a wound in a toe or finger to get their pity but wasn't brave enough to do that; anyhow SKD is too emotionless to piety a wounded prey.
I did bunk the class the next day. And it turned out, after three hours, that SKD -the main villian -hadn't come to class and the much talked about 'blackboard explanation' didn't after all happen. It had been postponed. AP and BMM are perfectly at peace in his absence.
...And the Climax:
Finding no other short cut to rely upon, I embarked on the long, arduous path -that of arming myself against the rapists. In the course of my five days tumultuous and extensive study, I came across a bitter truth. Even after three years in IIT Kgp, I wasn't even 1% electrical engineer. I couldn't even make out why reactance of an inductor is 'sL' and that of capacitor is '1/sC'. I wondered on how I could make it through the exams and lab vivas of last six semesters.
By tuesday night next, I had not only mastered the A to Z of 1st assignment, but had also completed the second assignment. I had even constructed the frequency response on matlab. I felt really good and had a sense of pride on myself. Unlike always, I wasn't making rounds of others' rooms begging for assignments. It was the other way round. Many copied my assignments, and unlike the so called top rankers, I freely distributed my assignment. I gave my assignment even to that Anjai Lal decoding whose rubbish 1st assignment design, I had wasted much of my precious time.
And the D-Day arrived. I went well-prepared to fight the professors. Guess what? It turned out that SKD had become the HOD -head of department -and so won't be taking the class anymore. There was a general relief and a special one in my camp. We fell back to the old times, talking on all types of non-sense in the last benches from latest porns on LAN to latest announcements in placement cell and frequently slipping out of class, on the pretext of toilet, to aimlessly roam through the corridors of electrical department.
